I'm sorry to say this. But there are some really stupid advices in this topic.
"Shit Happens?" It's the guy's life we're talking about.. and all you could come up with was 'Shit happens' ? ..and even if it's meant in a sarcastic way , clichÃ© ... really. Really ClichÃ©.
Yes shit does happen, but it also doesn't. I'm a postmodernistic guy, and life REALLY doesn't devide itself into black and white segments, it's way too complex to be just that. Same goes to what she said "It's all your fault" => (cfr. see below)
Anyway there are a few replies that took my attention. Respectfully Demigan's and Asgaroth's advice..
- Demigan has a very good point.:
Focus. And think about the thing you still have, even how cynical it may seem.
- Asgaroth: Move on. Obviously it hasn't taken that much for her to move on. So the more reason for you to live your life, evolved.
I know these are some very abstract concepts, especialy coming from people who don't know you in person/ or don't share the same life you have.
But fact remains, some people here have never had something close to this. So quit giving lousy advice if you don't know how to. (no offence, but I have to be frank)
My experiance with problemes(indiscriminate from which probleme or how huge the issue is) , is no mather how good your relationship is with a friend, if that friend has never experianced the same issue you're facing with right now. It's very likely that they cannot in any way understand what you are going through. So no point in having him/her give you advice, they wouldn't know how to. Friends can be a GREAT comfort (that is if you need comfort) but if you need advice from them then you can't blaim them for not being able to understand.
Don't get me wrong, it's important to talk about your probleme, (very important actualy) the first step is accepting you HAVE an issue.
But I think it would be best (and I wouldn't be the first ofcourse) to advice you to seek out groups or individuals who DO share this similar issue you are facing right now.
- Anyway what I would like contribute is this:
See my reference (see top) => "It's all your fault"
All I have to say is that: Ofcourse it can't be all your fault, that's not possible. But that doesn't neccecarily mean that it's not
And it doesn't mean it's her fault either. (not picking your wife's side, this is coming from a neutral POV).
Maybe somewhere allong the way ,the both of you lost sight. You may have payed the bills, but perhaps you drove her away from you.
Like Asgaroth mentioned. Move on, with whatever's practicle for you (you don't need to move to another country, if you can't afford it) but whatever helps out, even the little things and details, like ur ex-wife's pictures are out of the room, getting her stuff out of your way; just to mention a few.
If it's not there, then that's one thing less to ponder about.
- The important thing is to get things DONE. You can think ALL day on what to do and what to worry about. There are always new worries. But you need to get things done. Things won't change, if you don't want them to change and ofcourse AND again if you don't get things done.
"Live big, dream small" => you may have big dreams, but they will remain ONLY dreams if you don't do anything about them. It's 'Okay' to dream - to hope - to plan.
But these concepts are just 'those' concepts if you don't live these things out.
So really a1h, live your life, do the things you want to do, enjoy life again. Revenge is a fun thing, but don't let that get in the way and 'Move on'.
Last but not least, don't let your relationship with your son, and ex wife turn out into a war about "who loves your child more" by buying more stuff -> materialistic ofcourse.
Even at a young age, kids can sence that. Don't underestimate that.
And if you're genuine enough, you'll kid will learn to accept what has happend and will appreciate you more when he gets older.